And I’m back

The last few months have been inexcusable. I’ve been busy, stressed, and utterly horrible to myself and so, I’m back because I can’t take it anymore. I let allllllll of that be an excuse to back slide into nasty habits that have only aggravated my pain and illness and thus perpetuated the cycle. I’ve tried to get back on the wagon without blogging but honestly, I’ve not done well without it.

Writing about this journey has helped me, so I’m going to keep writing about it.

My last post was in Feb. I should bring y’all up to speed!

 

I won my company’s weight loss challenge! Not just won, I KILLED IT.

That means that I won a trip to San Francisco but I traded that with my second place buddy (who did AMAZING and won the fitness challenge outright) for a $750 gift card to Greenling.com

Which was fabulous!

 

During this time I also was searching for a house. This was the start of my undoing. It is immensely time consuming and stressful and in this market I was actually making offers on houses without seeing them because if you didn’t, you’d miss your chance completely. Even so, I won no bids but four and of those they all failed inspections miserably. It was expensive, painful, and quite frankly made me hate my life.

I gave up. Instead in November I’m moving into an AMAZING new apartment  that is going to be a little more expensive, a little farther out, but it is: huge, next door to my wonderful friend Sarah, has amazing amenities, and is in a safe and lovely part of town.

I am EXCITED!

I also got myself a new bed because the bed I had since high school was just not doing well for my back. It is fabulous!

During this time I also began to suffer a lot of pain because I made poor choice, stopped working out, was sleeping poorly, and was doing all the things that I shouldn’t be doing that was hurting my fragile health.

So I began taking steps to breaking the cycle, like the new bed!

I got into physical therapy as it turns out one of my biggest back problems is a nice fat pinched nerve and hyper-mobile L3 and L4. At some point I re-injured my back and that cascaded. It’s improving immensely now!

I’ve got a reliable rheumatologist and he’s immensely helpful and very open to non-drug intervention. He’s supportive of holistic diet approaches, acupressure, massage, and other therapies to manage my pain and my deterioration and hopefully reverse it.

I got myself a kinect! and I loooooooooooove it! It’s so fun and helps me out with my yoga as it can help me correct postures. I also got the whole things for 99$, i think i profited from a broken relationship. I should feel bad about that but having been in the same position all i can think is haha you go girl. I’m so mean!

My juicer died. i might have had a hand in that, so I got myself a high powered personal blender. I take it as a sign that I need to switch to smoothies!

Anyway! It’s all about getting back on track– Healthy, whole foods, plant based deliciousness! I’ve been working on it but it’s time to hold myself accountable and use this as a way to help my mental and emotional health. I don’t like talking to people about it, i much prefer writing about it.

You’ll notice typos and such too and that happens. I’m not writing this for professional reasons, it’s a stream of consciousness. No revision, no sugar coating, no holding back. Occasionally I’ll post something more polished, but you’ll be able to tell those. Recipes and whatnot 🙂 buuuuuuuuuuut for the most part– prepare thyself for typos and silly grammar.

Also i’m now on myfitnesspal– agomez281. Join me!

I’m not here just to lose weight (though i could stand it) but to stop just existing and really get my life back. I felt SO GOOD eating right and so shitty eating poorly. Now that I’ve really seen and felt the difference, I cannot let myself go back to the ‘food like’ toxic products. It’s not worth it, I deserve better.

That’s really what this blog is about, reaffirming publicly and daily that I am worth it. I’m worth the cost, I’m worth the time and effort. I am worthy of being healthy and happy.

Believe it or not that’s a real struggle for me. When nothing in your body works, when you feel so damaged, it’s really hard to justify the investment.

But I have a lot of reasons to invest in myself. I have amazing people in my life, I deserve to be healthy enough to spend time with them.

I have an amazing family who loves me deeply, I have the power to alleviate their worry.

I have AWESOME CATS! They need me to have the energy to play and cuddle and love them.

I’m awesome! I’m funny, I’m caring, I’m smart, I’m even pretty! I deserve to take the best care, to have the best food, to heal my body!

I’m worth it. You’re worth it.

Stewart Smalley people, he knows what’s up!

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